A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake

-Leo Tolstoy, saying stuff about eating meat...a la BE A VEGETARIAN BIATCH!

Long time no see hey lovers!...

Well, to be fair its entirely the fault of yours truly. I apologise for the lack of posts that happen on this here-wondrous site. Not that any of you actually read it, or are more than just figments of my wild and wacky imagination.

Anywho, the RUSSIAN RESURRECTION FILM FESTIVAL is on again. Or more correctly, it just finished if you reside in Melbourne (aka, the Moscow of Australia...sort of). But if you live in Sunny-ass Sydney you should defs hit it up!

So I thought I'd do a little thing called...

TOP FIVE: THINGS THAT MODERATELY ANNOY ME, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

1. Friends. Why, you may ask, does the hit sit-com of the late 90s/early noughties annoy me? The answer is super simple: its NOT THAT FUNNY! I admit, sometimes I find myself laughing at it but its just annoying humour. There is nothing clever about it. And the acting is pretty average. But for some unknown reason, its on ALL THE FUCKING TIME, so sometimes I put it on to spare myself the plight of George Negus (which is something that does actually annoy me enough to make me do something...change the channel).

2. Not having a bin in my bathroom. What do I do when the toilet paper roles finish?!?!?! But alas, I can't be bothered to go to K-mart or where ever to buy one. I'm not lugging that thing home, pfft.

3. Coming up with things to finish these lists with, so this'll be it for now guys.

Also, turns out my rabbit won't eat chicken 'pellets' and is sticking to his diet of ONLY rabbit pellets.

I think we all here realise that I have serious helmet hair, despite the fact that I never wear helmets

-LIES, the wondrous locks of Isabella are enough to spark revolution among men!

WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS RASPUTIN?

Yes, my darlings one of your favourite segments is back (lets be honest though, anything posted on Rawr Russia is your favourite)!

This time, Rassy has voyaged into a dark and mysterious land, full of fearsome men with beards as far as the eye can see and clothes so daring every war-ink burnt into their skin is visible, and the maidens, ahh the maidens with their fare skin and tangled hair think with dirt and blood, inspire fear among the masses with all but a simple glance. Otherwise known as The Espy, Rasputin had a rather good time getting down and dirty in St. Kilda. Try and spot his misdemeanour's:

Difficulty: about medium.

We'll post details of his up-coming gig with his band The Mystic Charlatans shortly.

God does not give horns to a cow that likes to gore.

- Russian proverb

Hey comrades, I know, I know its been a while. I snuck out in the morning and made you feel cheap like a Snickers on special at Woolworths (WHAT UP!) But, my loves I have been busy studing the history of documented war and Chekhov short stories. Time not wasted.
However! There are Russian goings-on that require my immediate attention and so I have lain down my books to address the imminent issue of who will dominate Eurovision 2011! Last night I was lucky enough to have flicked on my TV the very moment that Julia sat down to interview the Russian Entrant. BEHOLD THE CHARMS:















Ladies and gentlemen the eastern glory that is Alexej Vorobjov! Naww loving the argyle you worldly little bastard. Alexej thrilled with "Get You" in the first semi and made his way though to the final! EXCITING! I will so be watching for boyfriend on sunday night. There has also been some recent controversy covering Alexej's nudies shoot. But I'm not mean and green, Bella's gonna share the joy!

Ohhh Alexej. Honey why? Too much jewellery for a man so naked for starters, I'm not loving the higlights and his sugar mamas are wearing tinsel? Je ne comprends pas cheries. The delicately placed soccer ball somehow saves him from Austin Powers extra mediocrity, and I have to commend the dental ad grin in a situation so compromising. Though truly I am indebted to Alexej for his sluzzy picture, it just wouldn't be Eurovision without a dash of scandal! Also going on in the Eastern Bloc, the second season finale has just aired in the US for Vampire Diaries and aren't we all so glad that Stefan (the more demure of the Salvatore brothers) has made a sexy comback (Actor Paul Wesley / Wasilewsky being of course of the Polish persuasion).


Stefan had definitely been riding the back seat for a while on my sexy radar what with perpetually-partially-naked Damon mincing around set like an emo on crack-cocaine and sexy-evil Alaric making an appearance as Klaus in disguise. In fact, stefan's been pretty boring since he first hooked up with Elena / had a vampy breakdown over bloodlust. Needless to say, I'd been missing bad-ass Stefan.


SO GLAD HES BACK HOMG.


















Stefan has to face some of his sexy-evil demons in order to save his wretched brother Damon who just can't stay out of trouble god love him. I don't wanna give away any spoilers but there is some seriously gratuitous bloodsucking that goes down that mama just loves to love.


Until Sunday my little Cossacks XXX

You're spending money like you're on death row

-Jedward, Lipstick

"Two posts in as many days! WHAT IS GOING ON?" I hear you all screech. Well, fair warning the post you are reading does, unlike yesterdays, have an actual reason behind it, nonetheless an INCREDIBLE one!

It's that time of year again, dear friends; EURO-FUCKING-VISION!

Let me begin by bringing to light my deepest, darkest secret- I LOVE Eurovision! And when I say "love" I don't just mean "love" but in fact mean "COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ENTHRALLED, AMAZED AND AWED BY THIS INCREDIBLY, UNDENIABLY BEAUTIFUL, MARVELLOUS AND BREATHTAKING EVENT"

So no doubt, every time this venerable circus roles into town, I am in my prime!

Currently, France are the odds-on favourite to win. I'm not so sure, I'm of the school that thinks "Popera" isn't really suitable for Eurovision, what with violins being an actual instrument and all...

Second favourite is also MY favourite: IRELAND!

'Jedward' are representing Ireland this year, with the amazing "Lipstick". Honestly, if they don't win I'll be heart broken.

Their hair could enter as it's own country...and WIN!*

Now to Russia, ahhh those Ruskis. Alexey Vorobyov's "Get you" has been produced by none other than Red One (of Lady Gaga fame). Alexey is "an incredible talent" declares Mr. One. I'm not so sure, but maybe I just can't see it for what it really is because I feel it would be 1000x better (and sexier) in Russian. (2.78 cossacks)

Eurovision, that time of year when all I want to do is be a 90s-themed back-up dancer...

*There is so much I want to say about that hair! Like, if everybody had hair like that there would be no war. Not only because everyone would obviously be legends, but also because all of man-kinds resources would be used on hairspray. Also, they are like a distant-smurf cousin, if they died it blue they could probably get roles in the upcoming smurf movie. When one has hair that vast, do they need to get a permit or something for it? Does it have it's own postcode? Lastly, not exactly on topic but still brilliant is this:

An artel's pot boils denser

-Russian Proverb

It occurred to me recently, that this blog is withering away, starved of the attention it so needs and deserves. So here I am, a beacon of life for all those dependent on the wonders of RAWR RUSSIA.

In fact, the last post was a revolution ago. Literally, (sort of...) with the protests sweeping across the Middle East. Oh yeah! I am up to date with my current events, on the ball, insightful, educated, and every other compliment one bestows upon themselves when they successfully comment upon world issues, of course I am referring to those arrogant, self-assured douches in my politics class (something something BIN LADEN something something ROYAL WEDDING something something PIPPA something RICKY NIXON).

But now that I have proven to you all how AMAZING I am, here is the low-down on what Isabella and I (your loving comrades) have been conquering in the time since our last manifesto...

Yes, rest assured we are still conquering the globe of all Russian themed...erm things! Unquestionably leaving in our wake awe inspired individuals, filled with joy nonetheless.

But seriously, the days of Mr. Davies and 4HR BSENJ JDV (the most wondrous class that ever there was) are sadly long behind us. A distant memory, an event that is as insignificant as the laptop in the background of that photo. My point being, it's there but needs to be pointed out, referenced, acknowledged, for it to move itself once more into prominence.

Anyway, enough of this mumbo-jumbo. This post has no overall theme or actual point (sozzle!) so I'll let y'all know that dear Isabella is attending the University of Melbourne, in order to better her understandings of life in general. I, myself am wasting away my youthful years scouring across the vast lands of Russia, detailing my discoveries in a soon-to-be-published book! Nah, I'm kidding, I'm bumming around at Monash.

FUN FACT: I've also started reading on public transport. Not really by choice, it was forced upon me when my headphones carked it. It was a GREAT idea, before I started reading War and Peace. Now, don't get me wrong, Tosltoy has a great masterpiece here and I'm thoroughly enjoying it, but man is it a bitch to lug around...

Anyway, peace y'all and till next time

I think they're a bunch of PUSSIES

-James Franco's grandmother, Mitzie Verne, on people who can't watch '127 Hours'

Written from the blood of yours truly, a humbling sacrifice for this blog. Of course the wound has healed and I am up and fit and ready to alert you all to the goings on of whatever we do here at RAWR RUSSIA! This week (or month, they are sort of more bi-monthly posts, hey)...

TOP FIVE: THINGS THAT GIVE ME NIGHTMARES

1.) Pathetic Russian revolution movies that could have been AWESOME, but ultimately weren't due to various circumstance such as the following; actors, direction, dialogue, location, costumes, portrayal of rather VILLAINOUS characters in a light that does not befit their true personality...

Case study: The 2008 Russian epic "Admiral" starring Konstantin Khabenskiy, Elizaveta Boyarskaya and Sergey Bezrukov. This abysmal film turns what could have been an insightful and interesting story of an anti-revolutionary and leader of the White forces, Aleksandr Kolchak, into...A FUCKING ROMANCE! It also portrays Kolchak as a tragic hero, with a deep love for his country. The film brushes over (and by that, I mean completely ignorea) his belief in the autocratic system and tyrannous behaviour when he deemed himself "supreme ruler of Russia". Old Tsarist laws were restored, more then 25,000 people were shot or tortured to death under his command in Ekaterinburg alone, not to mention the 20 or-more concentration camps run by his government by 1920.

I give it: 2.38 cossacks

2.) Growing up. Now that I am officially and legally (in Aussie-land) an adult, the prospect of the future is sufficiently daunting enough to wake me up in cold sweats at night. WHAT DO I DO WITH MY LIFE??!?

3.) The White Stripes are no more! The White Stripes were the first band I really got into when I was 10 or 11, kudos to my big bro Nic for that one. On my 13th birthday, said brother offered to buy me a ticket to see them when they were coming into town. For some unknown and illogical reason my Mum said no. Which is utterly crazy and makes me furious in retrospect (actually it made me furious at the time also). But now I must live with the pain (FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!) that I was ever so close to seeing them live, but alas I will never be granted this opportunity from the gig-gods. Unless they do a reunion tour but I doubt the likelihood of this event ever occurring, sadly, and then of course the issue of my mothers blessing arises once more...

4.) DEATH! I guess, but to be honest I'm not exactly sure. I don't have nightmares that often so I'm scrapping the barrel here, but I assume I dream about dying occasionally and it probably freaks me out...as of yet I haven't been face-to-face with my mortality, but I'll keep you posted.

5.) James Franco. I saw '127 Hours' yesterday. I passed out. Then I vomited. I kid you not. Let's keep it between ourselves, because it wasn't my proudest moment. I'm a vegetarian, so that was possibly responsible. Yes, it was the vegetarianism. Also, the fact that he CUTS OFF HIS ARM! Urgh, the dizzys have started again...

Yes, this face haunts my dreams...