God does not give horns to a cow that likes to gore.

- Russian proverb

Hey comrades, I know, I know its been a while. I snuck out in the morning and made you feel cheap like a Snickers on special at Woolworths (WHAT UP!) But, my loves I have been busy studing the history of documented war and Chekhov short stories. Time not wasted.
However! There are Russian goings-on that require my immediate attention and so I have lain down my books to address the imminent issue of who will dominate Eurovision 2011! Last night I was lucky enough to have flicked on my TV the very moment that Julia sat down to interview the Russian Entrant. BEHOLD THE CHARMS:















Ladies and gentlemen the eastern glory that is Alexej Vorobjov! Naww loving the argyle you worldly little bastard. Alexej thrilled with "Get You" in the first semi and made his way though to the final! EXCITING! I will so be watching for boyfriend on sunday night. There has also been some recent controversy covering Alexej's nudies shoot. But I'm not mean and green, Bella's gonna share the joy!

Ohhh Alexej. Honey why? Too much jewellery for a man so naked for starters, I'm not loving the higlights and his sugar mamas are wearing tinsel? Je ne comprends pas cheries. The delicately placed soccer ball somehow saves him from Austin Powers extra mediocrity, and I have to commend the dental ad grin in a situation so compromising. Though truly I am indebted to Alexej for his sluzzy picture, it just wouldn't be Eurovision without a dash of scandal! Also going on in the Eastern Bloc, the second season finale has just aired in the US for Vampire Diaries and aren't we all so glad that Stefan (the more demure of the Salvatore brothers) has made a sexy comback (Actor Paul Wesley / Wasilewsky being of course of the Polish persuasion).


Stefan had definitely been riding the back seat for a while on my sexy radar what with perpetually-partially-naked Damon mincing around set like an emo on crack-cocaine and sexy-evil Alaric making an appearance as Klaus in disguise. In fact, stefan's been pretty boring since he first hooked up with Elena / had a vampy breakdown over bloodlust. Needless to say, I'd been missing bad-ass Stefan.


SO GLAD HES BACK HOMG.


















Stefan has to face some of his sexy-evil demons in order to save his wretched brother Damon who just can't stay out of trouble god love him. I don't wanna give away any spoilers but there is some seriously gratuitous bloodsucking that goes down that mama just loves to love.


Until Sunday my little Cossacks XXX

You're spending money like you're on death row

-Jedward, Lipstick

"Two posts in as many days! WHAT IS GOING ON?" I hear you all screech. Well, fair warning the post you are reading does, unlike yesterdays, have an actual reason behind it, nonetheless an INCREDIBLE one!

It's that time of year again, dear friends; EURO-FUCKING-VISION!

Let me begin by bringing to light my deepest, darkest secret- I LOVE Eurovision! And when I say "love" I don't just mean "love" but in fact mean "COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ENTHRALLED, AMAZED AND AWED BY THIS INCREDIBLY, UNDENIABLY BEAUTIFUL, MARVELLOUS AND BREATHTAKING EVENT"

So no doubt, every time this venerable circus roles into town, I am in my prime!

Currently, France are the odds-on favourite to win. I'm not so sure, I'm of the school that thinks "Popera" isn't really suitable for Eurovision, what with violins being an actual instrument and all...

Second favourite is also MY favourite: IRELAND!

'Jedward' are representing Ireland this year, with the amazing "Lipstick". Honestly, if they don't win I'll be heart broken.

Their hair could enter as it's own country...and WIN!*

Now to Russia, ahhh those Ruskis. Alexey Vorobyov's "Get you" has been produced by none other than Red One (of Lady Gaga fame). Alexey is "an incredible talent" declares Mr. One. I'm not so sure, but maybe I just can't see it for what it really is because I feel it would be 1000x better (and sexier) in Russian. (2.78 cossacks)

Eurovision, that time of year when all I want to do is be a 90s-themed back-up dancer...

*There is so much I want to say about that hair! Like, if everybody had hair like that there would be no war. Not only because everyone would obviously be legends, but also because all of man-kinds resources would be used on hairspray. Also, they are like a distant-smurf cousin, if they died it blue they could probably get roles in the upcoming smurf movie. When one has hair that vast, do they need to get a permit or something for it? Does it have it's own postcode? Lastly, not exactly on topic but still brilliant is this:

An artel's pot boils denser

-Russian Proverb

It occurred to me recently, that this blog is withering away, starved of the attention it so needs and deserves. So here I am, a beacon of life for all those dependent on the wonders of RAWR RUSSIA.

In fact, the last post was a revolution ago. Literally, (sort of...) with the protests sweeping across the Middle East. Oh yeah! I am up to date with my current events, on the ball, insightful, educated, and every other compliment one bestows upon themselves when they successfully comment upon world issues, of course I am referring to those arrogant, self-assured douches in my politics class (something something BIN LADEN something something ROYAL WEDDING something something PIPPA something RICKY NIXON).

But now that I have proven to you all how AMAZING I am, here is the low-down on what Isabella and I (your loving comrades) have been conquering in the time since our last manifesto...

Yes, rest assured we are still conquering the globe of all Russian themed...erm things! Unquestionably leaving in our wake awe inspired individuals, filled with joy nonetheless.

But seriously, the days of Mr. Davies and 4HR BSENJ JDV (the most wondrous class that ever there was) are sadly long behind us. A distant memory, an event that is as insignificant as the laptop in the background of that photo. My point being, it's there but needs to be pointed out, referenced, acknowledged, for it to move itself once more into prominence.

Anyway, enough of this mumbo-jumbo. This post has no overall theme or actual point (sozzle!) so I'll let y'all know that dear Isabella is attending the University of Melbourne, in order to better her understandings of life in general. I, myself am wasting away my youthful years scouring across the vast lands of Russia, detailing my discoveries in a soon-to-be-published book! Nah, I'm kidding, I'm bumming around at Monash.

FUN FACT: I've also started reading on public transport. Not really by choice, it was forced upon me when my headphones carked it. It was a GREAT idea, before I started reading War and Peace. Now, don't get me wrong, Tosltoy has a great masterpiece here and I'm thoroughly enjoying it, but man is it a bitch to lug around...

Anyway, peace y'all and till next time