You know why it would be cool to be Lenin? Because if you got into a fight with someone and lost, you could just send the CHEKA on them

-Isabella

Where's Rassy?

Our dear friend Rasputin got himself into a little bit of trouble. So he had to hide from the aforementioned CHEKA in Moscow's school of English. It was a strenuous affair.

Luckily, though, he managed to escape unscathed. But I am nearly positive that you, dearest Russian-ites, are slightly brighter than the aforementioned CHEKA. So have a go at spotting him:

*note: In Moscow, although it is very cold outside, inside they have excessive heaters, so the Russians all wear these similar blue dresses underneath their Cossak get-ups. It's not like a uniform or anything...

Forty years I've been at sea. A war at sea. A war with no battles, no monuments... only casualties.

- Captain Marko Ramius (unfortunately, he is fictional)

Quick question, avid readers, what do you get when you use a talent-less (don't hate me, but it's true!) Scotsman to play a ravishing Russian? Catastrophe, my friends, CATASTROPHE!

In"The Hunt for Red October" Sean Connery plays the role of Captain Marko Ramius, whose brilliance I have provided an insight to in the heading of this post, but for more head to imdb. Now, if you are a fan of Mr. Sir (that's debatable) Connery you may not enjoy this post as others, but do not disregard it if you have not seen the film.

Playing a Russian, Connery does not even attempt a Russian accent. It is heart-breaking. And cringe-worthy. Granted, this film did win an Oscar. For Sound Editing. It's like, "you were good, but not good enough, so we'll just give you one of the pissy awards". It's a bit of a joke really. Just like Connery's accent!

As odd as it seems that a big-Hollywood film would be so plain and irksome it is true. And it's not the first, or sadly last time that a potentially heroic and, dare I say it, epic film is completely ravaged. Watch the trailer to see what I mean:

Looks epic (that word again) right? Until you hear Connery's accent! It doesn't deserve this long and detailed post, in fact I could fit the true statement onto twitter:

WTF?!?!

The Bolsheviks did not inherit a ship of state, they took over a derelict hulk

- Lynch (whoever the fuck he is)

Goodmorning everyone. I have decided that it must be unnerving following a blog with any amount of audacity without someone/s at the figure head.

So, this is what we look like:

I can tell you're impressed. Elizabeth is keeping it real with the flagon of vodka in hand on the right and yours truly is the dark-lipped squealer on the left. In this picture we are not at lady gaga or infact in melbourne at all, this photograph was captured within the confines of the russian federation. As far-fetched as this all sounds, it is infact very much true. a long time ago we took a year long sabbatical in the land of the cossak to observe, gather information and draw conclusions upon our favourite eastern european nation - on site as it were.

It is from this very venture that we source information upon the fall of the soviet empire, current russians worth knowing and it was there that we compiled an album of all the places that we spotted Ra Ra Rasputin (lover of the Russian queen) a - lurking.

I trust that this revelation has made for amusing reading, and i wish you all a very pleasant week.

Kronstadt-out!