Any stick will do to beat a thief, but only a rouble will help you with an official

-Russian proverb

Heartbreak by Bella, a short story

There once was a girl named Bella, whose bright eyes and crazy-sexy hair would cause many to fall for her. Those men, the ones who could not resist the fire of Bella, all ended up the same way; broken hearted. Bella, a descendant from the sexy-as-possible Camille Desmoulins, is what is rumoured to be the last ever vela! What comes before you know is a tale of murder, heart ache, lust and feminism!

Despite popular opinion, the Russian revolution was not a result of the toiling masses revolting against the unfair hierarchy, but because Lenin was a victim of cruel Bella’s enjoyment. His actions were out of dire frustration at her lack of neutral feelings. She toyed him along, and then broke his heart. He was in pieces, and he took his revenge upon the Russian autocratic system. Lenin did not die of a stroke, but of a severed heart!

Devastation occurred when Bella’s next prey became evident. Trotsky, a charming and handsome young lad who would have been capable of reeling in any girl set his sights upon Bella. But Bella did as she always did; took advantage of his adoration. She was a temptress alright. She played him just as she played Lenin. And this one ended much, much, worse!

Heartbroken after being played and turned down, Trotsky went on a bender. With 100 per cent pure Russian vodka. It didn’t end well. The story gets busy here, with varying accounts. Something about Mexican food, and a tooth pick for ice...

But what is for sure, is that Trotsky didn’t make it past that night.

But when Bella played with the heart of a man named Joseph Stalin, it was to have severe consequences. Stalin was a man who would not be messed with, and when Bella left him he took his revenge by STARVING the population of Russia. It was a sad and horrific period, but heartbreak by Bella will cause insanity.

Eternal peace lasts only until the next war

- Russki proverb

RUSSIAN OF THE WEEK

Alexander Pushkin

A very well known Russian by even Western standards, this dashing young lad is something of a Slavic Shakespeare. Renound in his home country as the founder of modern Russian literature and as the greatest Russki poet he is also well known by thespian anglos as a great contributer to the Romantic era. Not only a literary genius, Pushkin was very devoted to his radical cause and social reform which earned him an exile to the Crimea, from where he travelled to Greece and jained a secret organization designed to overthrow the Ottoman rule.

He died two days after losing a duel to his wife's estranged lover, by mortal wounds. Very much the tortured artist, Alexander Pushkin is our Russian of the Week!